me: I’m calling for so-and-so

the guy: Who’s this?

me: Jason Alba

the guy: (slowly) Jake Malba??

me: … no, J-A-S-O-N A-L-B-A …

……….. maybe I should have just stuck with Jake Malba.

See, Pete Johnson has the “nerd crush” market cornered. This is like asking Michael Jordan who he thinks are awesome basketball players… so if Pete has a nerd crush on someone, then I do too.

But I can’t really follow Pete in declaring who I have a nerd crush on. And being the junkie blogger that I am, I figured I needed to have some kind of crush on something. So, after my recent trip to Savannah, I figured out what that was. I have elevator crushes.

The best, funnest, coolest elevator that I had a crush on was at the Caribe Hilton. This elevator went up about 22 floors… and it was fast… and fun. For an eleven year old chump, this was one of the thrills of living in temporary quarters (we would go sneak in the resort, ride the elevator, go to the tidal pools, etc.). I will never forget this elevator.

But in Savannah, I experienced an elevator that trumps this one. It only went up six floors. And I can’t say that it was speedy fast. But it had something that no other elevator has (at least, no elevator that I’ve every stepped into). The “door close” button actually closes the doors – immediately!

Don’t you hate pushing the door close and then waiting seconds for it to begin shutting? It’s like it never really did anything, just made you feel like you were doing something.

But in Savannah, as soon as you push the door close button, it started to close.  Yes, I have an elevator crush on that elevator.

The world would be a better place if all elevators had this neat little feature.

(yes, I really am this weird. I just had to blog about it. If you aren’t a blogger, you wouldn’t understand :p)

Last night was awesome. My wife asked me to get the tooth fairy stuff ready for our six year old, feeling bad that we missed it the night before (nothing like a six year old feeling neglected by the tooth fairy!). She was busy with the baby so I got to do it. I printed the following and gave it to her before I tucked it under the bed (note that he wrote a letter asking what the tooth fairy’s name is, and what the TF does with all the teeth):

Yo Dawg! Don’t you brush your teeth enough? You only have so many before you are using dentures, like (someone’s name)!!

My name is T.F. – that’s short for Tuthe Fairee.

I take all the teeth I get and put them in a blender, to mix them up. And then I sell that to the Elmers Glue factory.

Enjoy your quarter Dawg!!

So I go up to the bedroom and give her this cool letter, with fancy writing (that the blog doesn’t recognize) and I had to turn away or my face would give it away. She’s reading it and saying “noooo, noooo, noooooooooooooooooo” … I had her going for about five minutes, she really thought I was going to give it to her. At one point she says:

Are you serious? You really want to put this under his pillow?

and I respond with a manly:

Honey! He’s six years old! He’s not a girl (our others are all girls, so this is a plea to help “him be a man!”)

It was a riot – she really believed I was serious. Those precious five minutes 🙂

Here’s the real letter I put under his pillow:

(his name), wow, another tooth? I was just here a few months ago! Sorry about last night, I was caught up with about four million other kids that lost their teeth – September is kind of a busy month for me 🙂

I take all the teeth I get and put them in a secret, special place – it’s so secret, and so special, I can’t even talk about it!

My first name is Tooth and my last name is Fairy. But it sounds kind of weird to call me “Tooth” …so most people just call me The Tooth Fairy! Cool, huh?

See you next time!

Your Friend, the Tooth Fairy 🙂

in what is guaranteed to catch on like viral wildfire, I’d like to just say that I started it:

As I walked down the hallway I heard two boys, probably 10 or 11 years old, arguing:

Boy 1: “I’d rather be funny than dumb.”

Boy 2: “I’d rather be dumb than funny!”

I think, strictly based on which of these boys was already right, that boy 2 won.

Geesh, word verification is getting uglier when leaving comments on posts. I used to have the capcha stuff on my JJ blog until I got too many complaints about it not working right. Check out this word verification sequence that I just saw on a blogger site:

No big deal, right? Except that it’s 3 letters longer than normal – what’s next – a sentence???  Come on, the world is already complaining about having to do 5 letters (not a big deal, except that I’m sure many folks have had a hard time getting past it on lazy finger days). Luckily after I submitted the next page (if I wanted to enter another comment) was back to normal, with five letters:

Come on guys, I’m public schooled. Talk slow, and don’t challenge me 🙁

some people complain about everything….

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/qp0WBiME_fM]

hat tip to Laura 🙂

This will be either exciting or depressing, depending on how many readers your blog has.  Make sure to watch the slideshow at the end:

http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/jul2007/sb20070713_202390.htm 

I worked for the FBI for almost three years. At one point I volunteered in a program where I needed training for drug testing and was sent to Quantico for three days (plus two travel days). I found the entire trip to be entirely futile, from the government perspective, but I got a lot out of the trip.

The only presentation I remember was a DEA agent who did a one hour presentation on Meth. It was one hour of slides that showed what meth is all about. It was absolutely disturbing. Amazingly disturbing.

Nothing I have seen comes close to what I saw in Quantico… until I came across this post from Chris Knudsen (who hat tips Jeff Barson).

These are 30 second commercials. Watch every single one of them. This is something that we cannot ignore.