Sometimes I think I’m nuts. Even though I’m more sane than others. But seriously, what am I thinking, doing my own business? Where’s the safety net in that??
Sometimes I think I’m dense. Even though I got a hecka lot of education, and feel like I’m rather witty. This “dense” thing comes mostly when I compare myself to others.
Sometimes I’m lonely. Even though I have a terrific wife and family support, and thousands upon thousands of people who read my stuff in my blogs, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. But when I’m sitting in my office, all by myself, with hours to go in the day, wondering which thing I should do next, I wish I had a team working with me.
Sometimes I feel poor. Especially recently as we paid for a new baby, a broken van and car, my doctor’s visit to get my calf looked at, working on getting our basement finished, and payroll… but then I think about the families I met in Mexico who know what poor, and poverty, and hunger, are, in a way that i’ll never have to know.
Usually I’m hungry. Not for food, but for success. Actually, not even crazy-wild success, just the kind of success that pays the bills for a family with a modest lifestyle. That’s what i told my publisher, and why I swore I’d make money from book sales.
Most of the times I’m scared. Scared of failing. Or scared to take steps backwards. I often wonder if I’m the right guy for the job, and then I just get back to work, day after day, to get the job done the best I can, and hope that indeed, I could be the right guy for this job.
I’m an entrepreneur.
I feel privileged, and hope that I don’t mess this up.
I feel like this is bigger than me… much bigger than me.
I feel like thousands of people need me to keep on plugging along, as my stuff (whether it’s JibberJobber or my books or DVD or blogs whatever) are making a difference to them.
I feel like my future is in MY hands. Not the CEO of Enron, or some board of directors, or some cranky boss… but my own hands. Please let me not screw this up.
I’m an entrepreneur. While it isn’t easy, it’s rewarding. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
Jason, you did it again. This post resonates with me the way your jibberjobber “depression clouds everything” post does. You have an uncanny way of writing just what I was wrestling with at the moment. Thank you for that. Grateful for your candor. Consider us fellow sojourners.
Jason, this is one of those posts that make people realize how what a great entrepreneur you are! Transparent, real, down to earth…and yet inspiring. I’m glad I caught the link on Twitter.
p.s. Nice site redesign!
As a first time entrepreneur in the embryonic stage of her business, I so enjoyed reading this, related to it and feel very encouraged.
Ah, the excitement of ‘freedom’ – the fear of ‘freedom’, the excitement of success – the fear of success. The doubt, the sureness, the …. you name it, the emotions are there 😉
Little steps conquer the highest mountains.
No better way then the entrepreneurial way – for those who can stand the heat and accept the avalanche of emotions that come with ‘the job’.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
…and you ARE all about using that tension to help others manage it too. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize arrival at that wonderful spot of connection and engagement. Congratulations, I’m proud to be part of your community.
Thanks for this inspirational post!
As a first time entrepreneur much of your post rings true. Thank you for taking the time to so eloquently share your thoughts. Very inspirational.
Your thoughts could not be truer. I go through the same line of thinking almost every day.
Thanks for sharing and verbalizing it! You’ve inspired me to keep going down the entrepreneur route. And I’m not giving in!
I am right there with you! Recently (5 months ago), after finding out that we are going to have a daughter (she is due in 10 days), I had to push my business endeavors to the side and get a full-time job. My endeavors were paying off and I was making money, but not enough to support a family.
I thought that once I started working again, I would put my entrepreneurial spirit behind me and focus on the job.
Then, I realized that once you start, you can’t stop. In fact, people WON’T let you stop.
So, I juggle both.
For me, I feel truly blessed to have ventured out. Many people never take the opportunity to start a business. For me, it’s helped tremendously.
Keep up the good fight! You inspire me everyday to get out of bed and HUSTLE.
Very honest stuff. Thanks Jason.
Jason, you are one of my heroes, truly you are.
I love your honesty, your clarity, your humanity, and yes, even your self-admitted human frailty. But what I admire most is 1) your courage to tackle the tough issues to get a dialogue started and 2) your tenacity in the face of any obstacle.
Your friend and colleague,
This was not only honest and accurate, but it was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your process. I can totally empathize with you in this crazy, entrepreneurial journey.
Jason – wonderfully candid and refreshing post. Thanks for sharing some reality – it helps keep our own dreams and fears in perspective.
And always remember – even if you do “screw it up” you don’t lose the experience, knowledge, contacts and new friends that you gained along the way!
– Allan Bacon
You go through a lot of emotions as an entrepreneur, and I think you’ve captured them well here. For me the satisfaction of seeing a business form from nothing more than an idea makes any of the negative aspects of entrepreneurship more than worth it.
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