I swear, cross my heart, and all that stuff, I’m not making this up. I just (1:24pm MST) got a call from 1.800.638.5828… and here’s how it went:

Cathy: Hi this is Cathy from Onstar. I’m looking for a Jessica Alba.

Jason Alba: Jessica Alba, the movie star?

Cathy: I’m looking for Jessica Alba regarding a 2007 Silverado.

Jason Alba: There’s no Jessica Alba here.

Cathy: Okay, thank you.

(she hangs up and goes on to look. I didn’t know that my famous namesake moved to Utah :p)

I’m guessing she got her truck stolen.

So Jessica, here’s the deal. I’m happily married with kids and not looking for a relationship. But I would really dig the chance to take a spin with you in your Silverado… maybe we can grab a bite, and then when people ask me if I’m related to you (at least once a week) I can say “no, but we hung out. In her Silverado. That was stolen.”

Next time you are in Utah call onstar to get my home number.

By the way, since we have something in common (Alba) … I’ll comp you a lifetime premium subscription to JibberJobber

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